39: convoluted

CONVOLUTED
are your words,
reasons,
excuses,
thoughts,
promises,
emotions,
flirtations,
and your whole
past, present and future.

i know you are well aware of
(and that you are sadistically watching)
me being overwhelmed by all this,

but come closer; there's something for you i need to whisper:

the harder i try
to figure you out,
the harder it is for me
to believe what comes out of your mouth.

so goodbye.

38: fragile

hearts are such fragile things.

once broken, they're not easy to fix.
once shattered, they're not easy to pick.

sure, you can try to
glue the pieces back together,
tape the cracks to mend them better,
stitch the chunks to make them gather;
and if you succeed,
you should end up with a
(swollen, glued, taped and stitched up) heart
which
if you look closely,
real closely,
will still beat
albeit ever so slowly.

of course, that's if you can look past
the brown-stained glue, tape and stitches and
the crimson droplets slowly oozing out
of the gaps between them.

hearts are such fragile things, after all.
so won't you handle them with care?

37: bloody vengeance

let's just move on and pretend
that everything that happened didn't happen,
because i do not fully understand
(and you can't possibly comprehend)
why these old scars have reopened,
but they hurt like fucking vengeance.