maybe what you need
is space.
they say all's fair in love and war, but my heart feels like a perpetual tug-of-war that is always heavier-armed on one side.
when honeymoon turns to nightmare, i keep finding myself in ruins, shattered and scattered among broken bricks of walls i have built, hacked off cancelled projects too-eagerly taken up without realising the bonds i shackled myself into.
when their game is over, i keep going back to the drawing board, wondering what went wrong.
maybe i should've loved harder,
maybe i wasn't strong enough,
maybe i wasn't careful,
maybe i just wasn't ready because i can barely hold the fort in my own internal battles while also bearing the weight of extra hopes and expectations on my shoulders.
maybe love shouldn't be a test, a survival of the fittest to begin with.
my glassy bright eyes may keep grossly misreading the level of bloodthirst around me leaving me to sift through dusty debris of destroyed disney dreams, digging deeper and deeper into the rocky graves of my past lives... but perhaps the treasure from the wreckage is me making peace with myself being either too much or never enough for those who are forever insatiable.
perhaps, instead of finding myself a significant other, i am better off focusing on finding myself significant.
maybe what i need
is closure.
- diamond in the dust
last updated: 2021-03-15
-----
maybe what you need
is space.
they say all's fair in love and war, but my heart feels like a perpetual tug-of-war that is always heavier-armed on one side.
when honeymoon turns to nightmare, i keep finding myself in ruins, shattered and scattered among broken bricks from walls i have built, hacked off by cancelled projects i too-eagerly agreed to take up, not realising what i signed up for.
when their game is over, i keep going back to the drawing board, wondering what went wrong.
maybe i should've loved harder,
maybe i wasn't strong enough,
maybe i wasn't careful,
maybe i wasn't ready because i can barely hold the fort in my own internal battles while also bearing the weight of more hopes and expectations on my shoulders.
maybe love shouldn't be a test, a survival of the fittest to begin with.
my glassy bright eyes may keep grossly misreading the level of bloodthirst around me leaving me to sift through debris of destroyed disney dreams, digging deeper and deeper into the graves of my past lives, but perhaps the treasure from the wreckage is me making peace with myself despite always being too much and never enough.
perhaps, instead of finding myself a significant other, i am better off focusing on finding myself significant.
maybe what i need
is closure.
- diamond in the dust, 20191013 0903
what you need
is space.
they say all's fair in love and war, but my heart feels like a perpetual tug-of-war that is always heavier-armed on one side.
when honeymoon turns to nightmare, i keep finding myself in ruins, shattered and scattered among broken bricks from walls i have built, hacked off by cancelled projects i too- eagerly agreed to take up, not realising what i signed up for.
when the game is over, when reality sinks in,
i keep going back to the drawing board, wondering what went wrong.
maybe i wasn't strong enough, maybe i wasn't careful, maybe i wasn't ready because i can barely hold the fort in my own internal battles while bearing the weight of more hopes and expectations on my shoulders. maybe, i didn't try hard enough.
but love shouldn't be a test for me to figure out, nor a survival of the fittest. my glassy bright eyes may keep grossly misreading the level of bloodthirst around me, leaving me to sift through debris dreams, digging deeper and deeper into the graves of my past lives, but perhaps the treasure from the wreckage is me making peace with myself despite always being too much and never enough.
perhaps, instead of finding myself a significant other, i am better off focusing on finding myself significant.
maybe what i need
is closure.
- diamond in the dust, 20191013 0848
-
need space.
they say all's fair in love and war, but my heart feels like a perpetual tug-of-war that is always heavier-armed on one side, destroying the walls and towers i have built for them to turn into ruins when it all ends when honeymoon turns to nightmare.
when the game is over, i keep going back to the drawing board, wondering what went wrong. maybe i wasn't strong enough, maybe i wasn't careful, maybe i wasn't ready because i can barely hold the fort in my own internal battles, while bearing the weight of more hopes and expectations on my shoulders. but love should not be a survival of the fittest. in my naivety my glassy bright eyes may keep grossly misreading the level of darkness and bloodthirst around me, leaving me to sift through debris dreams and dig deep into the graves of my past lives, but perhaps the treasure from the wreckage is me making peace with myself despite always being too much and never enough.
perhaps, instead of focusing on finding myself a significant other, i am better of focusing on finding myself significant.
i need closure.
- diamond in the dust, 20191013 0803