75: If I had known

if i had known
what i know today
about what i do
day to day,
i might have told myself
to move along, stay away;
this is going to be much harder
than what they say
because once you're in
you can't sway --
you don't have a choice,
you need to go all the way.
just hit the ground running
no shortcuts, come what may
just keep on tumbling
do more work than play.

but c'est la vie --
now i only pray
that i do this well
not just for the pay;
be a ladder, rope or boat
to save those at bay
or a beacon of hope
for those who might stray.

and if this is my calling
would i then stay?
i guess i won't know
but i hope i'll be okay
knowing that although
i'm a sinner, someday
i could fulfill my purpose
as a vessel made of clay.