100: breaking news

how do you
brake
the news
to a child
that their only parent
is gone
?
here's one way
:
letting her
estranged villagefolk
who came to take her home
break
the news
at the schoolgate instead
.
because nobody prepared you to face
her
breaking voice
,
her
breaking down
,
as she tries to remain standing
in spite of her wobbly knees
;
as she struggles afloat though
her vision is drowning in tears
;
bothered breathing
,
sobbing and suffocating
;
and you watch
jaw dropped
hands shaking
mind numbed
because nothing prepared you for this
.
holding this
trembling soul
shaken and stirred
by the twists of fate
of having lost
her sole supporter
?
trying to
unbreak
herself
in her state of mind
of worrying about every single thing
of unpredictable uncertainties
---
then you start to realise
that she is no more prepared
than you are
.
nothing
prepared
me
for this
.
how do i
break
the news
to a child
that their only parent
is gone
?

---

written: 13/4/13
last edited: 3/12/13

99: they say it gets easier

as my hands
already overbr
imming
with half-
baked promises
and swOllen from the burden of
inc_mpl_t_ tasks
are faced with
LifteD
brows;
it gets easier, they say
as they
generously offer
MORE MORE MORE
of everything
without even *batting* an eyelash,
with a heapful of
words of enc(our)agement
like
l e t u s f i l l y o u i n
there's no better way to learn;
it gets easier, they say
but
There seems to be vicious creatures
TERRORIsing them in their homes
which are often called commITments,
but oh
"nothing for you to worry about,
pup
pet,
because commITments only
b
u
g
people who have
something called
LIFE

they say it gets easier,
"don't worry --
later
you can do the same to your juniors."

-
written: april '13

last edited: 021313

89: curses

the papers
will not mark themselves

so
in between
black coffee fixes
and coughing spells
and trance-like eyes
at an ungodly hour

in between
scolding myself
in the office,
it's nice when
someone is willing to talk
about
something
everything
and nothing.

even when there's someone.
especially when there's no one.

but alas,

the papers
will not mark themselves.

69: School blues

rewind ten years back
around this time of the year
and you will find
a student in her teens, and

fast forward 10 years
back to this time of the year
and you will find
a teacher teaching teens, and


both are in denial
of the fact
that school starts
in
one
week.

49: monu_ental

the only spaces
we can fill in our lives are
breaks and intervals

1/11/12 3.23am

33: The Neverending bundles of Joy

Once, I saw a colourful curse
gorgeously graffitied
on an otherwise unflattering floor.
The menacing message read:

"May you enjoy marking
our assessments
as much as we enjoyed
answering them".

Try dodging that, fellow teachers!

Happy Exam Season.

32: marking blues

the test papers
in my bag
are only half-done;
but i
really
really
don't feel like
marking right now.

lord help me.

26: Balance (Public Transport People #1)

of all the passengers
on the lrt, he stood out
like a quiet moth
against social butterflies.

wearing
an oversized security guard uniform,
a funny-looking hat,
a slightly faded backpack,
a pair of dusty black loafs and
a sullen expression,

his clumsy hands
held onto the railing as
his frail body
swayed along with the movement of the train.

yet
this dispirited man,
confused or drowning or lost or stuck
in his own world,
still managed to keep his balance
no matter how abruptly the lrt stops.

i wonder what kept him going.

3.08pm

---

i love people-watching, especially on public transports.

23: Sober

when i was 5,
i wanted to be an artist:
i wanted to make beautiful things and figure out
the best way to color a shape
without going beyond the line.

when i was 10,
i wanted to be an astronomer:
i wanted to gaze at the stars in the sky and figure out
exactly
which constellations each of them belong to.

when i was 15,
i wanted to be an engineer:
i wanted to invent awesome things and figure out
how to fix anything
and everything.

when i was 20,
i wanted to be a teacher:
i wanted to inspire people to be better and figure out
ways to capture the attention
of students with different personalities, interests and learning abilities.

but now that i'm this close to being what i wanted to be,
i've learnt that i'm not supposed to
'figure things out'.

all i needed to do is simply say:

"saya yang menurut perintah".


11.54pm