147: full circle

i keep dipping in and out of circles;
running in one spot and then to another
everoverworrying that it's never gonna be my place
to say or do or think or feel the way i do
and it always leads me back
to me wondering if
i'll ever




          f    i    n   d



                      my         

place
 
                                                         in

                                                                        the
                                                                       
                                                           

                            world

146: heavy mental

i've been asked
about my insistence in preserving
the sights+sounds+tastes+scents+strokes
of those i love
   but
i cannot put into words
why my fear of losing these Memories
   is so strong
       it hurts.

perhaps
i am simply
   Sentimental;
trying to tiptoe while tumbling through blocks
of matter and no-matters
and make sense of everything
in this sensational yet desensitised world
   is nonsensical
      but

perhaps
   (for better or worse)
   (and this is okay)
this is just
      how i Love.

145: water you weighting for

when you struggle to stay afloat
and reminding yourself to breath
makes no sense
as you suf
fo
cate on
thoughts of EVERYTHING
and feelings of n th ngn ss,
reach for your headphones
and r e l e a s e
the dammed music
you've been collecting
for over three decades.

let the soundwaves silence
the tsunamis tumbling within you
in full volume.


20170920 11.30am
- don't drown just yet.