62: All about the dosh

money can buy you a wholesome feast
but not an appetite

money can pay for your under the table degree
but not an ounce of respect


money can get you something to warm your bed
but not to warm your heart


money can afford you flashy cars at the speed of light
but not satisfy the need for speed

money can score people who will blindly take your side
but not true loyalty

money can win over unquestioning voters
but not unquestionable critics

money can land you a lot of luxuries in life
but not a sense of security

money can make your world go round,
but not everyone's.

not everyone's.

63: shield spun of silk

in these past 20 plus years,
i have been transferring
from one cocoon to another;
it's to keep me away from the dangers outside
they kept telling me.

these shields will protect me
by tightly wrapping my wings
so close to my body --
don't mind the lack of room, you say
don't worry about not being able to stretch or breathe --it's better to be safe
than to make mistakes, okay?

not okay.
i am claustrophobic
and i have been in here for far too long.

and yet, while i am tempted to break free,
another fear grows:
what if i tear down the wall around me
and i come to find
that my wings are broken
and i cannot fly away after all?


2017-05-29 9.35am

originally: 2012-12-10






in these past 20 plus years,
i have been transferring
from one cocoon
to another.

these fragile shields
will keep you away
from the dangers outside,
is what they kept
telling me.

these will keep you in
and wrap
your limbs
and
your wings
so close to your body that there's
barely any room
to stretch; there's
barely any room
to even breathe.
or to make mistakes.

but i have been in here
for far too long,
i am tempted to break free,
but
irreversible;
what if,
what if,
i tear down the wall around me
but i come to find
that my wings cannot fly?

tempting me
t
the life i could feel
from the real world outside of this cocoon
has tempted me to tear open
this delicate layer
dedicated to hold me
and my wings
as close as possible.

but now that i have been released from my shelter

i wish i could go back inside
i don't want to face the outside world anymore.

it's not that

61: Some and Others (draft)

when reality seems too hard to take
and fantasy is too easy to make,
there are plenty of ways
to run away:

some stick needles in their flesh,
some need their fix of toxic gases,
some just want to be left alone,
some won't stop swiping for dresses,

some stuff their faces like there's no tomorrow
some simply drink to forget
some like scarring their birthday suit
some live only for their pets

some treat roads as if then own them
some just never stop crying
some beat up others to feel better
some just cannot stop lying

some hang onto people they hate
some just cannot commit
some are in their own little world
some always need another hit

some keep trying to take their own lives
some are afraid to leave their room
some suddenly stop talking completely
some keep preparing for the ultimate doom

some start talking with inanimate things
some keep staring into space
some sniff powdered flakes
some keep failing to find a place
to call their own.

because if where we belong is where our heart is,
then some of us just don't feel like we have a home.

but others keep fighting on,
and many continue to pray
for better days and for better pays,
for sincere 'okays' and heartfelt 'heys';
because there's no reason not to, they say,
cuz things will inevitably go your way
if you chin up and keep your frown at bay;
you'll see the light too, someday.

2012-12-12 3.46am



if where we belong is where our heart is,
then some of us don't really have a home.

but

there are those who fight on anyway
and many others continue to pray:
for better days,
for better pays,
to have winters less grey,
to work less, more play.

there's no reason, they say,
to throw your life away;
things will inevitably go your way.
everything will be okay
if you chin up and keep your frown at bay,
you'll see the light too, someday.