Patience
are the blades on my fingertips
not scraping the crusty canvas of my existence.
i know you are parched,
but if you weep,
so will i.
20170528 10:10pm
Showing posts with label 131-140. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 131-140. Show all posts
139: kitsugi
kitsugi
is the art of mending broken things
using gold.
we too are made of clay:
ever at risk of wear and tear,
hardening with heat,
and falling apart,
but our defections are not as easily glazed over;
under pressure, our physical cracks are not dry
bright scarlet liquids that keeps our shell alive will eventually escape
in drips, oozes, gushes, depending on the severity of the impact.
yet, time after time,
the vessel will seal its bloody lips
on its own.
but filling up an empty shell with cracks all over, that haven't been healed by time, is not as straightforward
some of us survive only on the faith of others
and we keep cementing our brokenness the only way we know how:
to keep reattaching the cloudy shards of our existence
and line them all back together with silver
because that's the most we can afford.
kitusgi
is the art of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that it is really a way of appreciating
that there are ways to make a vessel
hold water, to not be emptied;
that even those that have scars
can still heal
can still have value
and can still be beautiful.
2017-09-16 7.11pm
---
kitsugi
is the art of mending broken things
using gold.
we too are made of clay:
ever at risk of wear and tear,
hardening with heat,
and falling apart,
but our defections are not as easily glazed over;
under pressure, our physical cracks are not dry
bright scarlet liquids that keeps our shell alive will eventually escape
in drips, oozes, gushes, depending on the severity of the impact.
yet, time after time,
the vessel will seal its bloody lips
on its own.
but filling up an empty shell with cracks all over, that haven't been healed by time, is not as straightforward
some of us survive only on the faith of others
and we keep cementing our brokenness the only way we know how:
to keep reattaching the cloudy shards of our existence
and line them all back together with silver
because that's the most we can afford.
kitusgi
is the art of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that it is really a way of appreciating
that there are ways to make a vessel
hold water, to not be emptied;
that even those that have scars
are still valuable.
--
kitsugi
is the art of mending broken earthenware
using gold.
we too are made of clay
we too are ever at risk of wear and tear,
we too can harden with heat
we too can fall apart with pressure;
but our defections are not as easily glazed over,
our squishy fleshy skin does not create cracks when broken;
the scars ooze out scarlet liquids pumped out by
our pulpy beating human hearts
to give life to the vessel that contains all our insides but
for those that are barely alive, i keep wondering
what use it is to keep patching up the leaky wounds
if the body has been emptied of everything of substance?
it's difficult to find meaning in emptiness though,
so some of us survive on faith
of others more than ourselves
and for better or worse,
cement our brokenness the easiest humanest way:
to look at the cloudy shards of our existence
and keep lining them all back together with silver
because most of us can't afford gold.
2017-07-21 8.11pm
---
kitsugi
is the art of fixing
broken things using gold.
people too can harden and be broken with pressure and heat,
but although both are made of clay and may wear and tear,
humans are not earthenware;
public displays of abundance and defections are not as easily glazed over --
so our pulpy beating human hearts pumping blood even in the most unliving bodies
reminds us that the only way to keep us whole
is to cement our brokenness in the most human way:
by lining all our cloudy shards with silver instead
because most of us can't afford gold anyway.
kitsugi is the art of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that everyone has silver scars
and there is beauty in that
even when we can't see it ourselves.
2017-05-23 5.23pm
---
kitsugi is the art
of making broken pieces whole
by gluing them back together using gold.
after thirty years of existing, today i learnt
that i have somehow, unwittingly, perfected kitsugi.
breathing humans can withstand a lot of heat and pressure, much like china
our hearts allow the pumping of life
as they beat and bleed, hurt, and often, then heal
but although both of us are made of clay, humans are not earthenware
we are neither naturally stiff nor inanimate,
and public displays of abundance and defections are frowned upon.
so instead of cementing the our brokenness with gold,
i've learnt that we're expected to keep lining all the shards using silver;
for me, i do this begrudgingly,
but with time, willingly
and much more generously.
kitsugi is the art
of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that there is beauty in silver scars
even when others can't see it.
10.45am
----
but hearts are not stiff nor inanimate
they may just just as fragile as the most delicate china
but they are not cold and glossy --
they beat and they bleed
they hurt and then they heal
... sometimes.
is the art of mending broken things
using gold.
we too are made of clay:
ever at risk of wear and tear,
hardening with heat,
and falling apart,
but our defections are not as easily glazed over;
under pressure, our physical cracks are not dry
bright scarlet liquids that keeps our shell alive will eventually escape
in drips, oozes, gushes, depending on the severity of the impact.
yet, time after time,
the vessel will seal its bloody lips
on its own.
but filling up an empty shell with cracks all over, that haven't been healed by time, is not as straightforward
some of us survive only on the faith of others
and we keep cementing our brokenness the only way we know how:
to keep reattaching the cloudy shards of our existence
and line them all back together with silver
because that's the most we can afford.
kitusgi
is the art of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that it is really a way of appreciating
that there are ways to make a vessel
hold water, to not be emptied;
that even those that have scars
can still heal
can still have value
and can still be beautiful.
2017-09-16 7.11pm
---
kitsugi
is the art of mending broken things
using gold.
we too are made of clay:
ever at risk of wear and tear,
hardening with heat,
and falling apart,
but our defections are not as easily glazed over;
under pressure, our physical cracks are not dry
bright scarlet liquids that keeps our shell alive will eventually escape
in drips, oozes, gushes, depending on the severity of the impact.
yet, time after time,
the vessel will seal its bloody lips
on its own.
but filling up an empty shell with cracks all over, that haven't been healed by time, is not as straightforward
some of us survive only on the faith of others
and we keep cementing our brokenness the only way we know how:
to keep reattaching the cloudy shards of our existence
and line them all back together with silver
because that's the most we can afford.
kitusgi
is the art of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that it is really a way of appreciating
that there are ways to make a vessel
hold water, to not be emptied;
that even those that have scars
are still valuable.
2017-07-24
9.53am
--
kitsugi
is the art of mending broken earthenware
using gold.
we too are made of clay
we too are ever at risk of wear and tear,
we too can harden with heat
we too can fall apart with pressure;
but our defections are not as easily glazed over,
our squishy fleshy skin does not create cracks when broken;
the scars ooze out scarlet liquids pumped out by
our pulpy beating human hearts
to give life to the vessel that contains all our insides but
for those that are barely alive, i keep wondering
what use it is to keep patching up the leaky wounds
if the body has been emptied of everything of substance?
it's difficult to find meaning in emptiness though,
so some of us survive on faith
of others more than ourselves
and for better or worse,
cement our brokenness the easiest humanest way:
to look at the cloudy shards of our existence
and keep lining them all back together with silver
because most of us can't afford gold.
2017-07-21 8.11pm
---
kitsugi
is the art of fixing
broken things using gold.
people too can harden and be broken with pressure and heat,
but although both are made of clay and may wear and tear,
humans are not earthenware;
public displays of abundance and defections are not as easily glazed over --
so our pulpy beating human hearts pumping blood even in the most unliving bodies
reminds us that the only way to keep us whole
is to cement our brokenness in the most human way:
by lining all our cloudy shards with silver instead
because most of us can't afford gold anyway.
kitsugi is the art of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that everyone has silver scars
and there is beauty in that
even when we can't see it ourselves.
2017-05-23 5.23pm
---
kitsugi is the art
of making broken pieces whole
by gluing them back together using gold.
after thirty years of existing, today i learnt
that i have somehow, unwittingly, perfected kitsugi.
breathing humans can withstand a lot of heat and pressure, much like china
our hearts allow the pumping of life
as they beat and bleed, hurt, and often, then heal
but although both of us are made of clay, humans are not earthenware
we are neither naturally stiff nor inanimate,
and public displays of abundance and defections are frowned upon.
so instead of cementing the our brokenness with gold,
i've learnt that we're expected to keep lining all the shards using silver;
for me, i do this begrudgingly,
but with time, willingly
and much more generously.
kitsugi is the art
of embellishing broken things
and after thirty years of existing, i've learnt
that there is beauty in silver scars
even when others can't see it.
10.45am
137: ic
you think you can still hide behind your mask, but i've seen right through you.
others may be stuck in your web of lies,
but not me.
not me.
2017-05-01 4.28pm
others may be stuck in your web of lies,
but not me.
not me.
2017-05-01 4.28pm
136: NaPoWriMo Day 26: butt; hurt
Hello beautiful souls! Sheena here and I'll be posting the prompts beginning today until #day30. Joms.
PROMPT:
Where are you right now? What is happening around you? How does it sound, smell, taste, look and feel like? Today's prompt challenges you to be in the present moment. Choose a place to be in (it can even be the place you are in RIGHT NOW) and recreate the experience by writing a place poem. Examples of place poems include Ee Tiang Hong’s Perth and James Wright’s The Secret of Light .
BONUS CHALLENGE:
Begin your poem by mentioning a body part.
Happy writing!
#day26 #napowrimo #npwm #poetrycafekl #pckl #placepoetry
via Poetry Cafe KL
PROMPT:
Where are you right now? What is happening around you? How does it sound, smell, taste, look and feel like? Today's prompt challenges you to be in the present moment. Choose a place to be in (it can even be the place you are in RIGHT NOW) and recreate the experience by writing a place poem. Examples of place poems include Ee Tiang Hong’s Perth and James Wright’s The Secret of Light .
BONUS CHALLENGE:
Begin your poem by mentioning a body part.
Happy writing!
#day26 #napowrimo #npwm #poetrycafekl #pckl #placepoetry
via Poetry Cafe KL
135: let love and live
I can live and let live,
but I can't love those who only love love
but refuse to live and love.
20170529 9.10am
I can live and let live,
but I can't love those who only love love
but not those who want to live and love.
2017-04-26 3.56pm
but I can't love those who only love love
but refuse to live and love.
20170529 9.10am
134: honor+y
---
my name is izzaty
and i've been told that it's a good name because the root form, "izzat", means 'noble',
i.e. doing the right thing, not the royalty kind;
today i learnt that
"izzat" actually means honor
i.e. 'it's your duty to make sure you don't ruin your and your family and community's reputation' kind
today i learnt that
"izzat" is the cause
of family feuds
raging friendzonees, rape revenges
and testosterone-fueled trigger-happy armies
all of whom simply can't take "live and let live" for an answer.
today i learnt that
it's hard to stomach the fact that i've been a prey of being my own living prayer,
to be the personification of dignity
whatever that may mean
and to be responsible for the brutal consequences if i don't
however that may be.
they say names are a prayer
and now the invisible burdens on my shoulders have shown its form.
they say names are a prayer
and now i thank God that of all the decisions my parents have made
my name has a "y" at the end of it.
133: start making bitch happen
here's something not many people realise:
i'm actually a bitch.
a word that someone godblessthem said stands for babe in total control of herself,
a term, according to my ex, to call wives and girlfriends in rap songs,
a man's best friend... that he will try his best to control.
on one hand if i'm fond of you i will slobber all over you and squeeze in for cuddles and pick up things for you likes there's no tomorrow
on the other, i can turn into an overprotective killing machine if you harm those in my care; use
my nails to tear your skin, sink
my fangs and rip out your heart, and then let
my gang round you up and shred you to pieces.
sorry, was that too psycho for you?
psyche, not sorry
because really, i wanted you to know
that no matter how much you think i can be domesticated
when push comes to shove,
i can be wilder than you ever imagined
i can equally love and loathe you to death
and if you want to see what i'm capable of,
i will let you feel my wrath.
2017-04-21 5.46pm
i'm actually a bitch.
a word that someone godblessthem said stands for babe in total control of herself,
a term, according to my ex, to call wives and girlfriends in rap songs,
a man's best friend... that he will try his best to control.
on one hand if i'm fond of you i will slobber all over you and squeeze in for cuddles and pick up things for you likes there's no tomorrow
on the other, i can turn into an overprotective killing machine if you harm those in my care; use
my nails to tear your skin, sink
my fangs and rip out your heart, and then let
my gang round you up and shred you to pieces.
sorry, was that too psycho for you?
psyche, not sorry
because really, i wanted you to know
that no matter how much you think i can be domesticated
when push comes to shove,
i can be wilder than you ever imagined
i can equally love and loathe you to death
and if you want to see what i'm capable of,
i will let you feel my wrath.
2017-04-21 5.46pm
132: wanederlust
how is it
that everyone else is onthego and underpressure and overworked and inbetweenjobs and inthemidstofeverything and
are constantly running and falling and getting back up and spinning and running and getting back up and spinning and running and getting back up and spinning spinning running running running spinning spinning faster and faster and faster and faster going oh so fast oh so steadily
and all i seem to do is spin and spill tears and run and ruin away?
how is it
that i can be full to the brim
and spill out only gas and steam?
how is it
that i constantly find myself tiptoeing at the tip of my sanity
and drown in dreadful nothingness?
that everyone else is onthego and underpressure and overworked and inbetweenjobs and inthemidstofeverything and
are constantly running and falling and getting back up and spinning and running and getting back up and spinning and running and getting back up and spinning spinning running running running spinning spinning faster and faster and faster and faster going oh so fast oh so steadily
and all i seem to do is spin and spill tears and run and ruin away?
how is it
that i can be full to the brim
and spill out only gas and steam?
how is it
that i constantly find myself tiptoeing at the tip of my sanity
and drown in dreadful nothingness?
131: nts
in case you forgot,
you are more than blood and bones and tinglings and thoughts.
in case you forgot,
you are a complex being, fragile but loved but tired but brave.
in case you forgot,
you are human.
it's okay to just be.
it's okay to just feel
hell, it's okay to just feel sorry for yourself
sometimes
it's - okay, breathe, breathe, breathe
in
and
out
and in
and out and
internalising toxicity has never done you any good -- no matter how many times you replay all the guilt of the past three decades making you constantly feel like you are
out of time
out of control
out of your mind
but of all the things that you stop yourself from doing out of fear,
please don't stop yourself from living because you're scared of being burnt.
sometimes facing your fires is the only way to let out steam,
so go ahead:
shout at the sea at the top of your lungs at 2 in the morning --
use vibrating showerheads on lazy sunday mornings or lonely weekday nights --
down llaollao generously topped with rainbow sprinkles and crushed graham cookies --
let tears extinguish your flaming eyesmindtongueclenchedfists -- just
let it
all
out
and give yourself
permission
to accept that you may be an organised mess
that you may lose yourself in
but will eventually find your way out at some point.
instead of fixating on the hands of the hours and minutes and seconds tick tick ticking away
as you tick tick untick no tick get ticked off by the things in your neverending checklists
try to accept that you'll only be able to see yourself in retrospect so you can't timetravel back to fix your future but also
try not to worry too much if you can't seem to live in the present the way self-help books keep telling you to.
i know your eyes are covered with layers of open-burn smoke disney-tinted lenses underneath half-eyelids wishing they could remain closed
and it's okay that the only thing you can see most of the time are your hands wiping away frustrations from your eyes, creases from your forehead, and snot from your nostrils
because your sweaty palms and farmer-like digits and unpolished nails
have helped you verbalise what you think and want and need,
have clawed into your aggressor's hands at your most vulnerable,
have cupped water for you to gargle after supermintyhot mouthwash,
have on countless occasions placed antiseptic and plaster on your scraped knees,
have pushed yourself up after kissing the earth from falling down, thanking god, or both,
have touched and tickled and been tingled by those who have returned your love - no matter how brief; despite
having been born or shaped or grown or scarred in ways that are unacceptable in other people's eyes,
they are a part and a reflection of what you are and what you are capable of:
perfectly flawed but able to do and carry and protect and heal
more than you can possibly believe.
so please,
forgive yourself
as much and often as you give excuses for other peole being the way they are
for you not being more
for the times you regress and fall through
for all the opportunities you probably missed because you couldn't get up right away or in time or at all.
because really
it's okay
to not be okay all the time.
2017-04-19 6.26pm
you are more than blood and bones and tinglings and thoughts.
in case you forgot,
you are a complex being, fragile but loved but tired but brave.
in case you forgot,
you are human.
it's okay to just be.
it's okay to just feel
hell, it's okay to just feel sorry for yourself
sometimes
it's - okay, breathe, breathe, breathe
in
and
out
and in
and out and
internalising toxicity has never done you any good -- no matter how many times you replay all the guilt of the past three decades making you constantly feel like you are
out of time
out of control
out of your mind
but of all the things that you stop yourself from doing out of fear,
please don't stop yourself from living because you're scared of being burnt.
sometimes facing your fires is the only way to let out steam,
so go ahead:
shout at the sea at the top of your lungs at 2 in the morning --
use vibrating showerheads on lazy sunday mornings or lonely weekday nights --
down llaollao generously topped with rainbow sprinkles and crushed graham cookies --
let tears extinguish your flaming eyesmindtongueclenchedfists -- just
let it
all
out
and give yourself
permission
to accept that you may be an organised mess
that you may lose yourself in
but will eventually find your way out at some point.
instead of fixating on the hands of the hours and minutes and seconds tick tick ticking away
as you tick tick untick no tick get ticked off by the things in your neverending checklists
try to accept that you'll only be able to see yourself in retrospect so you can't timetravel back to fix your future but also
try not to worry too much if you can't seem to live in the present the way self-help books keep telling you to.
i know your eyes are covered with layers of open-burn smoke disney-tinted lenses underneath half-eyelids wishing they could remain closed
and it's okay that the only thing you can see most of the time are your hands wiping away frustrations from your eyes, creases from your forehead, and snot from your nostrils
because your sweaty palms and farmer-like digits and unpolished nails
have helped you verbalise what you think and want and need,
have clawed into your aggressor's hands at your most vulnerable,
have cupped water for you to gargle after supermintyhot mouthwash,
have on countless occasions placed antiseptic and plaster on your scraped knees,
have pushed yourself up after kissing the earth from falling down, thanking god, or both,
have touched and tickled and been tingled by those who have returned your love - no matter how brief; despite
having been born or shaped or grown or scarred in ways that are unacceptable in other people's eyes,
they are a part and a reflection of what you are and what you are capable of:
perfectly flawed but able to do and carry and protect and heal
more than you can possibly believe.
so please,
forgive yourself
as much and often as you give excuses for other peole being the way they are
for you not being more
for the times you regress and fall through
for all the opportunities you probably missed because you couldn't get up right away or in time or at all.
because really
it's okay
to not be okay all the time.
2017-04-19 6.26pm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)