Showing posts with label 81-90. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 81-90. Show all posts

90: F = for lying

Attention all Pilots
cruising along the clouds
soaring through the sky:

Flick open your headlights

Reassess your coordinates

Switch off that autopilot

And hold on to the wheel.

And
don't
let
Go.

No matter what they say,
No matter what they do,
No matter what happens --

Their wonderful twists and turns
will never be enough.

Your sweet flight of fantasy
will not last forever.

So take off the sleep blinding your eyes,

And take off the smiles binding their lies,

and
land

Safe

and

Sound.



Attention all Pilots,
cruising along the clouds
soaring through the sky:
Flick open your headlights.
Switch off that autopilot.
Hold on to the wheel.
No matter what they say,
No matter what they do,
No matter what happens --
Don't.
Let.
Go.
Your sweet flight
Of fantasy
Will not last forever.
Your wonderful twists
And turns
Will never be enough.
You will eventually have to
Steer yourself back into Reality
(You will eventually have to
Come back down to Earth)
Take off the sleep
blinding your eyes.
Take off the smiles
binding those lies;
And
land
Safe
and
Sound.

89: curses

the papers
will not mark themselves

so
in between
black coffee fixes
and coughing spells
and trance-like eyes
at an ungodly hour

in between
scolding myself
in the office,
it's nice when
someone is willing to talk
about
something
everything
and nothing.

even when there's someone.
especially when there's no one.

but alas,

the papers
will not mark themselves.

88: hazy

The problem is
Him;
I can almost imagine
His face breaking into a cheeky grin
And letting out a hearty laugh
As he talks about everything and nothing.
Always playfully serious and seriously playful.
I can almost imagine
Him willingly burn his lungs with toxic gas
And letting out sweet utterances, unmeaned
Interlaced with meaningful words, unsaid.
The problem is
Me;
I am almost sure
He's not The One,
But I am starting to be more intrigued.
I am starting to falter
Though I'm probably just another plaything to him.
I am almost sure
That I should really hold back
Because this haze has clouded
The area around me
As well as my sense of judgment.

87: BittersweeTea

sweet
is my iced wintermelon tea
as i nibble at the gummy bubbles
and the flavored rainbow jellies
-munch
-munch
look outside
-munch
an old woman walks past
-munch
-mun--
her blanket over her arm
---ch
her hair unkempt
-pause
her expression confused
-stare
her clothes disarray
-focus
Homeless?
-assess
Disowned!
-conclude
Disability.
-pause

-munch.

-look down
chatime in my palm
-look out
blanket on her arm
-stop

Gulp.

sweet
is my iced wintermelon tea,
but did it always have
such a bitter aftertaste?


Aug 11 2013

86: Maximum volume on mute

So I laugh a bit too loud.

and i can get a bit clingy
and am too distant at other times
and i like things that don't matter much to others
and anything out of the ordinary
and i get excited about fictional characters
and over people who will never know who I am
and i hate unrealistic expectations
and being told what to do and when to do it,

But

nothing pisses me more
than someone
believing
they can control
what i do.say.think;

I am not blind
I am not stupid
I am not that naive

So

i've been waiting for you to notice
that you are not talking to a mirror
though you might as well be
since you're trying so intently
to fix your own reflection
in the form of me.

I am not blind
I am not stupid
I am not that naive.

flawed is the least I could be
but to change me completely
is robbing me of my individuality
and
i'd rather be
chained and
gagged and
shackled and
beg
on my knees
than to apologise for
what i never was,
things i can't possibly be,
for being who i am
not who you want to see --

I am not blind
I am not stupid
I am not fucking naive.

Seriously,
i shouldve known better
than to stop laughing
when you said

I laugh too loud.

---

remembering things and a certain someone who made me angry in the past.

💜💜💜85: anti-alpha

'why are you always
so angry at the world?'
she asks.
she knows the best i could do to answer
is stutter and falter

but
i wish she could see herself
in this haven cum prison
when her own son
rolls his eyes
and says she's noisy
when all she's telling him to do
is pick up his soiled socks
from the guest room
that he always
messes up.

so i scream
at the top of my lungs
inside my fuming head
'because you can't see
and i can't accept
that we are treated
as less of a person
because
they see themselves as kings
and we're anything but queens'

-- but she doesn't see what i see.

and she allows them
to treat her the way they do
and she refuses to accept
my retaliation; my support
to my amazement
to my horror
to my disgust.

i know he's your own blood,
but

how can you let him do this to you?
how can you do this to yourself?

84: tempo rally

This is the Future:

identified by = #
evaluated by = %
penalised by = $
and forced to face
an infinite input of facts and figures 
and insanity in the form of information overload
of truths and half-truths,
of white lies and whole lies,
with processors
swollen by nothing of importance,
with memories
numbed by nothing of relevance.

here are beings
disinterested
for having existed
in a world so filthy and twisted,
and be judged for crimes they had to inherit
and to right wrongs they did not commit --

This is the Future.

getting closer and closer
as loud as ever
but on mute.

This is the Future,
where the silent screams

are nothing

but

deafening.

82: bogus focus.


not too long ago,
i said to a fellow colleague
who had a degree in physics:

"i find it amazing
that we can send texts, e-mails, videos, bank payments, groceries, bouquets of flowers
without some form of land or physical connection --
all this data floating around in the air
being channelled along by waves
that we cannot see,
touch,
or hear...
but they're there,
and they reach where they need to reach, no matter the destination
and they do what they need to do, no matter the outcome.

it's like...

Magic."

and when i said the last word
i could've sworn
that she almost choked on her drink.

she then stifled out a laugh
and looked at me as if i just told her
that i wanted to fork out my eyes.
"that's not magic,
that's Physics!"

i couldn't help it.
i sighed,
"i know there are
scientific explanations and theories and concepts and whathaveyou
but it still doesn't change the fact that
it is amazing
how there's an infinity of invisible information
in insanely long strings of 0s and 1s
flowing above, around, under, through, between us
dutifully trying to achieve its mission
at the click of a button, at a tap of a screen, at a touch of key."

i couldn't help it.
i asked,
"does it not make you wonder,
how there are all these things we cannot see,
yet they do amazing things,
at lightning speed
and with wonderful results?
you need something,
whether it's a definition of a word, or a recipe for some dish you're craving for, or chatting to a long-distance friend, and voila --
you get it.
Magic.
at your fingertips."

she lifted an eyebrow.
"but that's not Magic,
that's Physics!"

and so i tried to 'compromise'
by saying that i meant it as more of a metaphor
(which she couldn't understand)
and then i said that i'll perhaps use the adjective 'magical'
(because that's what i had meant, anyway)
but she just became more confused...


and that's when i knew
it was not a battle worth fighting.


because it was then that i finally understood
that Magic
is not what you see (or don't see)
or what you hear (or don't hear)
or what you understand (or don't understand)

Magic is what's felt;
what we get
when we replace
adult-like rationality and knowledge to make us smart,
with child-like wonder and gratitude to make us happy.


---

not too long ago,

i told a fellow colleague
who had a degree in physics:

"i find it amazing

that we can send texts, e-mails, videos, bank payments, chocolates and bouquets of flowers
without wires 
sometimes by just using our
mobile devices;
all this data floating around in the air
being channelled by waves
that cannot be seen
touched
heard
felt
but they're there,
and it reaches where it needs to reach
and it does what it needs to do.
it's like...
magic."

she almost choked on her drink,

"that's not magic,
that's physics!"

i tried to explain to her

that i understand
about scientific explanations and theories and concepts and whathaveyou
but it still doesn't change the fact that
there is all these invisible information 
around you
in long strings of alternating and combinations of 0s and 1s
flowing along to dutifully achieve its mission
at the click of a button, at a tap of a screen, at a touch of key.

this infinite space of ours

full of all this
does it not make you become full of wonder?
does it not make you become full of awe?
of what humans are capable of dreaming of,
of what humans are capable to achieve?

but her response was simply,

"yes,
but that's not magic,
that's physics!"

and that's when i knew

it was not a battle worth fighting.

because it was then that i finally understood

that magic
is not what you see
or what you hear
or what you understand...

it's what is felt.