Showing posts with label poem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poem. Show all posts

61: Some and Others (draft)

when reality seems too hard to take
and fantasy is too easy to make,
there are plenty of ways
to run away:

some stick needles in their flesh,
some need their fix of toxic gases,
some just want to be left alone,
some won't stop swiping for dresses,

some stuff their faces like there's no tomorrow
some simply drink to forget
some like scarring their birthday suit
some live only for their pets

some treat roads as if then own them
some just never stop crying
some beat up others to feel better
some just cannot stop lying

some hang onto people they hate
some just cannot commit
some are in their own little world
some always need another hit

some keep trying to take their own lives
some are afraid to leave their room
some suddenly stop talking completely
some keep preparing for the ultimate doom

some start talking with inanimate things
some keep staring into space
some sniff powdered flakes
some keep failing to find a place
to call their own.

because if where we belong is where our heart is,
then some of us just don't feel like we have a home.

but others keep fighting on,
and many continue to pray
for better days and for better pays,
for sincere 'okays' and heartfelt 'heys';
because there's no reason not to, they say,
cuz things will inevitably go your way
if you chin up and keep your frown at bay;
you'll see the light too, someday.

2012-12-12 3.46am



if where we belong is where our heart is,
then some of us don't really have a home.

but

there are those who fight on anyway
and many others continue to pray:
for better days,
for better pays,
to have winters less grey,
to work less, more play.

there's no reason, they say,
to throw your life away;
things will inevitably go your way.
everything will be okay
if you chin up and keep your frown at bay,
you'll see the light too, someday.


30: A Furry Ordeal


   feeling a bit chilly,
i curl my legs into
   my kaftan nightie
as i lay down on the bed
   trying to make myself comfy,
when this ball of fur comes along
   and gets all cosy
as she snuggles herself
   right next to me
and proceeds to sleep
   soundly.
10.12pm

as much as i hated waking her (ie. iqa's cat, simba) about half an hour later ... i really couldn't feel my legs. =_=

26: Balance (Public Transport People #1)

of all the passengers
on the lrt, he stood out
like a quiet moth
against social butterflies.

wearing
an oversized security guard uniform,
a funny-looking hat,
a slightly faded backpack,
a pair of dusty black loafs and
a sullen expression,

his clumsy hands
held onto the railing as
his frail body
swayed along with the movement of the train.

yet
this dispirited man,
confused or drowning or lost or stuck
in his own world,
still managed to keep his balance
no matter how abruptly the lrt stops.

i wonder what kept him going.

3.08pm

---




i love people-watching, especially on public transports.

25: The Gamble

hearts
are such fragile things,

but
you have to risk
the ache
of losing yours
if you want to
truly
win over
someone else's;

no pain,
no gain.

 ---

 2.12am

to a friend's admirer: 
just confess and get on with life already

22: It's a Girl/Thing

Silly thing,

Girls can't climb trees
or play with ladybugs
or chase chickens
or arm-wrestle!

Girls must cook things
and do house chores
and be pretty
and just listen!

Silly thing.

12.11am

21: What I was told

ever since i could remember,
i was constantly told that i was
a bit too dark and my body was
a bit too fat and my hair was
a bit too curly and my feet were
a bit too crooked and my voice was
a bit too loud and my smile was
a bit too wide and my demeanor was
a bit too unfeminine and my pronunciations were
a bit too gobbled up and that
nobody
will marry me unless i changed.

bless your hearts
for warning me of how my life will always revolve around the idea of how marriage-material i am,
and
please excuse my insolence in questioning your authority and wisdom
but
i'm a bit Confused:

if i change, there is a chance someone might like me,
but
if i change, is there a chance i will like myself?

11.33pm

19: Le Delabelling De La Belle

I once read a play
with characters real queer.
One of them couldn't stand labels,
she wishes they would all disappear.

She hates seeing labels so much that
she always peeled them off;
while I was learning this in Lit class
I couldn't help but laugh.

But then I stopped
when I realised something amiss,
because ever since I was a tot,
ridding labels gave me such bliss.

Labels don't bother me as much now,
and I wonder why this is so;
is it because I'm tired of unlabelling things,
and learnt to just accept status quo?

18: In the name of development

On my way to Melawati today,
I looked to my left
and saw the once-beautiful trees, uprooted.

I looked at my mom who was driving
and asked her what had happened to the trees.
She said the roads couldn't accommodate
the number of drivers;
our roads needed to be widened,
it's part of development.

On my way back from Melawati,
I looked to my left
and saw the once-glorious hills, flattened.

I looked at the notice on the zinc wall
and read what had happened to the hills.
It said the lowlands couldn't accommodate
the number of families;
our houses needed to be multiplied,
it's part of development.

"LOOK!"

Mom suddenly said, interrupting my thoughts.
I turned to see what she had seen;
and saw the off-late stormy skies, clearing.

I looked at the fluffy white clouds
and the evening sun behind it, glowing summery shades.
It made me wonder: how much time
do we have left before
our heavens disappear,
in the name of development?

---




080312 @ 21:26

14: the thought of Death

Today,
i was
reminded that i
might die Tomorrow. i
wonder if i
have truly
Lived.

My teacher friend was discussing about the theme of death in her English class yesterday, and she asked her students to come up with a poem related to it. Me being the sad observer that I am, joined in just for fun... but now that I read this poem again, I do wonder. Hmm.

By the way, in case you were wondering what structure this is, it's a 16-word poem, structured like this:
1 word
2 words
3 words
4 words
3 words
2 words
1 word

12: My Four Seasons

Passion like summer heat,
Faith like spring flowers,
Thoughts like autumn decay,
Heart like winter showers.

I'll be completely honest: I'm pretty heartbroken right now. Returning to my home country has been quite eventful for me. Leaving my 3.5 'student life' years behind, ie. my memories, my loved ones, my independence, my freedom... yeah it's pretty hard. Although I've been enjoying the food and meeting my family and friends, a lot of things have been brewing in my mind... about love, life and everything in between. As soon as I touched down on that plane that night, I realise that I'm back in reality; my bubble has burst, and it's time to shake myself awake.

I have only been here for a few days, but I've felt a variety of emotions of various degrees. Essentially, I feel tired that my thoughts & philosophies are being challenged by the people I trust and cherish - not exactly in constructive/positive ways. I'm getting tired of the put-downs and the general dismissive/condescending attitudes that adults here have...

I've been told that I'm too idealistic about the world -- and this will ultimately lead to my disappointment in myself and society. I've been told that that's simply reality - things can't always turn out the way we hope/expect them to turn out, because that's not how the world works.

I've been told that I need to look good all the time -- I need to wear the right clothes, I need to not get fat/pimples/scars, I need to do my facial routines and makeups, I need to dress nicely even when I'm not going anywhere important/for long; I need to LOOK MY BEST ALL THE TIME. I've been told that this is important in (Malaysian) society, because people decide our worthiness by our appearance, and if you're not thin, you're not in.

I've been told that I don't know how life works, how the real world is, how things really are -- how, essentially, people are. I've been told I'll never 'get it' because of my upbringing, that I can never truly understand, that I've got it easy and I should be grateful and just accept the fact that everyone leads different lifestyles and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it.

I may seem naive for being idealistic, but at least I haven't given up on caring about society because I believe that many 'rotten apples' CAN still change; they've just not been given enough opportunities/support in their lives to improve. At the very least, I still have some faith in people and not judge people simply by my first impression.

I may look ugly for not having the 'ideal' face/body/skin, but at least I know that beauty on the outside is nothing compared to what's on the inside (and that's what I personally treasure more). At the very least, I know that it's cruel to psychologically cause people to feel frustrated and ashamed about the way they naturally look.

I may sound stupid for saying/questioning certain things despite the fact that I've never been able to experience the things that the people I talk about have to experience, but just because I didn't share their (mis)fortunes doesn't mean it's impossible for me to empathise with them, and doesn't mean I'm completely blinded by my own life. At the very least, I am willing to admit that I could be wrong and have a lot to learn.

I am not that brainless, worthless and tactless.

Sorry for the long ramble, but it's amazing how one week at home made me realise why I love&hate everything here. I guess, like Tennessee Williams notes:

'Memory takes a lot of poetic licence. It omits some details; others are exaggerated, according to the emotional value of the articles it touches, for memory is seated predominantly in the heart' - The Glass Menagerie.

8: The fallen trees

The chainsaw rumbles
as trees come tumbling down;
A part of me dies.
Translation
Gergaji mengaum
apabila pokok menyembah bumi;
Sebahagian diriku mati

I don't like the constructions going on my campus right now. It makes me sad seeing the trees get chopped off and the general green areas get levelled, some lecture rooms getting destroyed, all these walkways being closed off...  All this 'modernisation'... do we really need it? I mean, I like technology and all, but living in a concrete jungle all the time - it can't possibly be good for the mind, body and soul can it?


I miss walking around Canterbury University... now that's the closest place to heaven(ly campus) on earth.

5: Senyuman Si Suria

Senyum manismu
bawah cahya suria
Kuterpesona
Translation
Your sweet smile
under the rays of the sun
I'm spellbound

Dedicated to a certain someone: thank you for brightening up my life.

4: Music from the outside

Outside, I hear sounds
of crickets, birds and cars
Music to my ears
Translation
Di luar, kudengar
cengkerik, burung dan kereta
Irama merdu

3: The red scarf

The red scarf, dangling
untouched for the past few months --
It's too bright; not yet.
Translation
Skarf merah, tergantung
beberapa bulan tidak tersentuh
Terlalu cerah; tunggu dulu.